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The World’s Biggest Penis and, Perhaps, the Most Perfect Vagina

This may be the first time ever that superstar mega-goddess Tera Patrick got upstaged by a big, fat penis. Well, not exactly upstaged – but the penis definitely took over the second half of the show.

The first half was all Miss Tera, calling in from her life as a mom, as well as her many other roles: producer, softcore model, burlesque dancer, cosplay enthusiast, animal lover. Amber, Savannah and Tera chatted about Vegas and next week’s AEE Show. They talked girly stuff, like which of them has the best ass. Amber described Tera as refined and “lady-like.” Tera complimented Amber fashion sense, recalling a dance routine in which Amber wore only a fur coat.

Perhaps the most delightful detail that Tera let spill is that her current partner (and father of their daughter) met her while he was taking a mold of her vagina for Fleshlight, to create her signature line of sex toys for the company. “I got shy when he was doing it,” Tera said and she knew that chemistry was in the air. Shy is SO seXXXy.

Tera also said that she hasn’t shot hardcore scenes since 2008 and currently shoots only softcore, à la  Andrew Blake. She does webcam; Amber pointed out that webcam really is the new format for porn.

Tera will make an appearance performing burlesque at a la Mode Thursdays, at 1 Oak in the Mirage Hotel, in Las Vegas on January 16, as part of the festivities around the AEE Show.

Then, after Tera, there was the penis. And NOT Robert Steven Rhine’s penis. Well, actually, it IS his penis, technically…

Rhine is the “deaditor-in-chief” of Girls and Corpses Magazine, the only magazine about death, comedy and HOT chicks on Earth, ever. Like a zombie bikini mash-up with a necrophilia chaser. And maybe unsurprisingly, lots of very HOT girls want to be photographed with dead, petrified, mummified, preserved things – hence, the penis.

Won at auction, Rhine claimed that it came from someone named the “Polish Giant” or something like that – just one of many strange items in his collection.

In a pickle jar, a huge, soft-looking, flesh-colored, vein-y, severed penis floating in some liquid. With the scrotum attached. Like those eggs you get in dive bars and a bloated braunschweiger shoved in a jar. No one asked why it was cut off, so Rhine will have to come back on the show and explain how a huge penis ends up without its owner in L.A.

Amber said that she thought it was bigger than John Holmes.

Not to be overshadowed by the penis, beautiful starlet Jayden Lee joined the show, especially to lapdance Savannah, who was in her black leather. An exotic mix of Asian and hispanic, Jayden is a native Spanish-speaker – that’s really seXXXy. Jayden got a kiss on the lips from Amber, which not even Robert Rhine got one of those.

He did get a lapdance, though, from very lovely Jayden. And then he took his penis and went home.

To listen to last night’s show, click here.

(Photos courtesy of EMM Report)

Tomorrow Night on Rock’N’SeXXXy UnCensored – Pornstar Legend Seka

Mouth-Public-Relations-Inside-Seka-Book-JacketThe holidays just keep on COMING! You cannot miss Rock’N’SeXXXy UnCensored tomorrow night, Jan 2 at 7pm PST, when Amber talks to iconic ’70s porn star Seka. Two legends will talk about what it was like, back in the day, to be world famous SEXXX symbols – before the Internet! They’ll chat about some of their famous scene partners – great woodsmen like John Holmes, Jamie Gillis, Tom Byron, Ron Jeremy and many more. And they’ll give you an inside look at the behind-the-scenes lives of the great ladies of XXX.

Seka has recently published her memoirs, “Inside Seka – The Platinum Princess of Porn.” She also will be appearing alongside Amber Lynn and many other adult legends, at The Hollywood Show this weekend, Jan 3-5, at the Loews Hollywood-Highland. LISTEN on LATalkRadio.com tomorrow night and CALL IN LIVE at (323-203-0815). Then, meet these lovely, SeXXXy ladies in person this weekend! That ROCKS!